Toxic Puffy and Total Zen

Old Grandma Whale, a blue whale, with the largest heart ever, who was gentle, calm, and infinitely wise, declared to Emergency Worker Services - "We need the Dolphin Squad!"

"For WHO?" Puffy, the puffer fish, shouted. "What is a Dolphin Squad?"

"Puffy," Old Grandma Whale said. "I've assessed you on what is called the 'OCEAN' scale. You are not curious (low on Openness Scale), not careful (low on Conscientious Scale), not outgoing (low on Extraversion), neither friendly nor compassionate (low on Agreeableness). There is only one scale you scored high on and that is Neuroticism and..."

"Neurotic? Me? NO!"

Saying that, Puffy let out a stream of his poison.

It was called tetrodotoxin.

Which was a thousand times more toxic than cyanide.

"This is what I mean," Old Grandma Whale said. "You pick fights. If anyone asks why, you blast out toxin. Everyone is exhausted trying to avoid you."

Puffy flew into a rage. "I'm not the problem," Puffy said. "Everyone else is. One day, I'm the most toxic creature in the world, the next day I'm a delicacy. One day I'm to be avoided, the next day, I'm to be fished. Am I a highly prized dish? Or a fearful fish?" Puffy let out another stream of tetrodotoxin. "AM I GOOD? AM I BAD? TELL ME!"

"The Dolphin Squad!" Old Grandma Whale said, crisply. "Over here. On the double. STAT."

"This is stupid!" Puffy yelled. "What IS the Dolphin Squad?"

"You'll find out," Old Grandma Whale said, as the Dolphin Squad arrived. "He's there," Old Grandma Whale said, pointing to Puffy who was trying to hide. "Gentlemen, take him away."

The first dolphin picked up Puffy in his mouth. Once the dolphin had taken Puffy to an empty ocean area, he squeezed Puffy like a fluffy rubber ball.

"Are you squeezing me?" Puffy shouted. "HOW DARE YOU?"

Puffy puffed himself up and let out a stream of poison. But to his astonishment, it did not bother the Squad. If anything, the pod of dolphins loved his poison. They snorted merrily.

Puffy let out another load of poison - bigger after another.

The dolphins snickered.

They caught Puffy. Tossed Puffy. Caught him. Tossed him again.

"Stop!" Puffy panted. "Stop, please! Why are you doing this to me?"

"Sorry, Puffy." Old Grandma Whale shook her head. "Dolphins like puffer poison. It doesn't hurt them, but makes them happy. If you stop producing the toxin, they might let you go."

After fifty-eight squeezes in an hour, Puffy had no choice but to try and control himself.

He hated the idea of having to control his mind, his temper, his moods, and his anger.

How he hated the dolphins! They drove him crazy with the smiling faces and playful attitude.

He shut his eyes and turned his soul inwards. He counted up to three - that was all he could do, he was too anxious to count to ten. He ignored the squeezes and tosses. He ignored the grins of the dolphins, abandoned his fear of not knowing who he was. He accepted his utter confusion about himself. Was he special? Was he useless? Was he good? Was he horrible?

Contradictions existed everywhere, he told himself. Why not in a puffer fish?

"UUUNNNNNNHHHHHH!" Puffy said, breathing out, becoming totally Zen.

Seconds later, he was free.

"Finally!" everyone said, emerging out of their holes.

"Hey," Puffy said. "I was having an identity crisis, but I can see clearly now."

"Really?" everyone said, exhausted. "What do you see clearly now, Puffy?"

"That..." Puffy said. "I'm a nasty, neurotic puffer fish. You should get used to it."

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