How to Impress a Coconut Octopus

One day, Grimpi, a shy Dumbo octopus, gathered her courage and decided to go to a world she had heard a lot about, but never seen. She lived by herself inside her cave on the ocean floor, 13,000 feet below the ocean surface. She wanted to make new friends. “I wonder how I'll feel,” Grimpi thought as she swam up. “Will I like anyone? Will anyone like me? Will I feel out of place? Silly?"

But Grimpi felt fine so she kept rising until she saw a strange sight. It was a sandy flat area with a lot of light. Scattered around were half globe-like shells. Amidst them was a dark-colored octopus, with white suckers and a yellow siphon, darting hither and thither.

“Hello,” Grimpi said, shyly. “How do you do? I’m Grimpi."

“I’ve no time to talk!” the other octopus snapped. “My name is Rusty and I'm in a rush. Coconut shells everywhere and currents so swift I cannot collect them before they scatter."

“Oh, okay... ” Grimpi said, taken aback at the rudeness. “But why do you want coconut shells to begin with?”

“I’M A COCONUT OCTOPUS, THAT’S WHY!” Rusty yelled.

“What kind of octopus is that?” Grimpi said, bewildered.

“Mercy me,” Rusty said, wringing his tentacles. “In the time we have been talking, two more coconut shells have rolled away. Now humans are fishing here as well. The more we talk, the harder it will get. Please do not distract me. Just help me. Pick up that shell over there and there and there... and follow me… and don’t get caught by the humans fishing over there, else you’ll be fried.”

“How?” Grimpi asked, even more confused.

“How do I know how humans fry?”

“No,” Grimpi said, feeling stupid. “I meant… how do you pick up a coconut shell?”

“You’ve no clue, do you?” Rusty said again. “Here. I’ll show you. Watch me... and now do what I am doing."

Grimpi watched in disbelief.

“Can't you walk?” Rusty said. “On two of your tentacles? Use six tentacles to pick up a shell, and two for movement? Or use four tentacles to pick up the shell, then you will have four to walk? Use a few tentacles to pick up the shell and the rest to walk!"

“Octopuses don’t walk...” Grimpi said, firmly. “Or pick up coconut shells."

"I can. I do. That's why they call me a coconut octopus."

"I'm not a coconut octopus. I'm a dumbo octopus."

"A dumb octopus?"

"No!" Grimpi said, annoyed. "Dumbo, not dumb." Feeling angry, she tried to follow Rusty. She picked up a shell and attempted to walk, but she couldn't. She collapsed. The shells scattered in the sand. Grimpi got up and tried again. Once again, she fell.

"Oh, come on!" Rusty picked up a coconut shell and demonstrated once more. "Look. It's easy!" He walked on six tentacles, then four, then two. He walked. He ran. He swam. He propelled. In fact he was so good, Grimpi groaned.

"I can't,” Grimpi said, finally. “I really can’t.”

"How do you hide then?" Rusty asked. "How do you survive?"

Grimpi covered her eyes with her tentacles, wishing she had never come up here. The entire interaction with Rusty had been nothing short of embarrassing. “I live 13,000 feet under the ocean. There is no one there. It's dark and lonely and I hate it at times. So I came here where it is light and bright and thought I could make a new friend. But I'm no good at picking up shells and no good at walking on tentacles. I can never be safe here. It was a mistake to come up. I'll go back home, where I live. Uh... goodbye."

Rusty stared at Grimpi... as if he couldn't believe what he had just heard.

“Did you say... 13,000 feet?" he said, finally. "Good grief! You live so deep you don’t need to hide! The water pressure is so high where you live that I wouldn't be able to live down there. It would crush me. I'm live up here and I use coconut shells to hide from predators. That's why I collect them... this is why I need them... so I can climb inside and hide in them. See?"

Rusty climbed into one half of a shell and pulled the other half over his head. "You're special, Grimpi."

Grimpi peered at Rusty from behind her tentacles.

"I'm special?" she asked.

"Yes!" Rusty said, smiling. "Wanna be friends?"