How To Live Dangerously If You're A Sloth

Did you know sloths live in Central and South American tropical forests? They live mostly on trees and come down rarely, about once a week, to relieve themselves. That’s when they are most in danger from eagles, jaguars, and other predators. Harpy eagles can actually swoop down from the sky and pick a sloth right off the tree.

Did you know there are two-toed sloths and three-toed sloths? The three-toes sloths always look as though they are smiling and can turn their heads almost all the way around. They will sit upright on trees, whereas two-toed sloths spend most of their time hanging upside down.

Sloths do everything upside down. Sleep. Give birth. Die.

Sloths are slow. They sleep two thirds of each day, up to 20 hours, and when awake, they don’t move much, and often remain still. Their metabolism is so slow it takes them up to a month to digest their food, which mostly consists of twigs and leaves. They are so slow that algae grow on their fur. Because of algae, their fur appears to be green, although it is not, but this helps the sloths blend with the leaves and trees in tropical forests. A sloth’s safest spot is being up on a tree. Motionless. Still. Most predators do not climb as high as a sloth does. A sloth’s fur makes for a good home for moths, beetles, algae, mold, and fungi.

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Slokum, the two-toed sloth, needed to go. It had been a week since he had last gone. He had such a slow digestion it took him a month to digest the twigs and leaves he ate, during which time most of his body weight was the food in his stomach. But nothing explained why Slokum went to the same spot each week, at the base of his Cecropia tree, near a lake.

His friend, a moth (whose name was Moth) warned him. "You must not go now, Slokum. Jaguar and Eagle are nearby.”

Slokum gave a slow smile. “Once upon a time, I used to be as big as an elephant. Now I'm no longer as big, but I've a strong body and strong claws. I eat upside down, sleep upside down, give birth upside down. I can even die upside down. Can you do that?”

“No,” said Moth.

“My fur is crammed with algae and fungi!” Slokum said. “I look green though I'm not and I give you a grand home, don't I? Don't I, Moth?"

“Yes, but why go to the same spot every week?" Moth asked. "Go to the OTHER side.”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“'Cause,” Slokum said. “It’s work.”

“Slokum,” Moth said. “Wait! Please! No!”

“Oh, why?” Slokum wailed. “Why? Why can’t I go?"

Saying that, Slokum began to climb down the Cecropia tree that was on the edge of a lake.

Moth grew agitated. “I must keep him safe. He has the best algae, moss, and flies. Not to mention the fact that he is my friend. He might sleep all the time, but he is a good soul."

"Slokum, listen to me. On the count of three, swing your claws! You must bruise Jaguar's nose! Bust his chin! Break his jaw! Slokum? Are you listening to me? SLOKUM?"

"What?"

“Can't you hurry up?” Moth shrieked. "You are NOT STILL... ARE YOU?"

Jaguar crouched. Eagle swooped.

“SLOKUM!” Moth shouted. “ONE. TWO. TH... TH... TH... THREE!”

Eagle flashed his talons. Jaguar swung a paw. Moth shrieked and shut his eyes. When he opened them a minute later, Moth saw that Eagle had scratched Jaguar's face and Jaguar had whacked Eagle down. But Slokum was nowhere to be seen.

"Slokum?" Moth whispered, after Eagle and Jaguar had limped away. "Where are you?"

"I slid into the lake at the count of three," Slokum said. "You forget. I'm a good swimmer."

“Phew!” Moth said, collapsing on a leaf. "That nearly killed me."

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Moral of the story: Keep your friends around. They will save you in ways you cannot imagine.